


The Mad Life of a Not Undead Teenager in an Undead Family

by Plagues_Vengeance



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Drabbles, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other, Tumblr Prompts, au prompts, oneshots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-03
Updated: 2015-11-05
Packaged: 2018-04-18 21:56:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4721879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plagues_Vengeance/pseuds/Plagues_Vengeance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"All teenagers like to claim that they have the strangest, most annoying family in all of existence. It's honestly like some competitive sport, with each teenager whining about every little thing their individual families do that result in statements like these; 'My family is like soo weird.' or 'Oh my God, they are such freaks. I can't stand them!' and all because Cousin Timmy likes to fold his socks or Big Sister Anne is a stripper or Daddy Dearest has a walrus mustache that he carefully grooms every day...<br/>…<br/>And then there's me, who just about dies from laughter at how bleeding normal all that sounds. Because my family really is a bunch of freaks, not that anyone could tell. See, all of them are drop dead—ha!—gorgeous, ridiculously smart, and pretty much flawless in absolutely every way. All except for me and my younger sister, Lili. We're the sole normal (okay, normal-ish) ones in the whole bunch, and the rest are a bunch of, you guessed it, freaks. </p><p>Blood-sucking, ice cold, undead freaks.</p><p>Hello, I'm Sunny Finnegan, sometimes known as Sunny Cullen and my family is a bunch of vampires—don't worry, they're vegetarian—and welcome to my mad life."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Drabble #1: Sadly, I Was Completely Sober

**Author's Note:**

> So this is pretty much an au oneshot/drabble series of an old Twilight fic I have on FF.net called Always Sunny to help me get a feel for the characters before I try to make a full blown fic out of it all. This is a "Cullen Clan Adopts the Original Character and She Gets Imprinted on by One of the Wolves" fic, so there most likely will be tropes and cliches galore. You have been warned. 
> 
> Mira, you pretty much helped spawn this idea, so I hope you like the results^^
> 
> Most if not all the prompts are found on tumblr and their source will be credited at the beginning or end of each chapter.

Unblocking Writers Block Creative Writing Prompt #352: Write This Story  
_I wish I could say I was drunk when this happened, but no, this major fuckup happened when I was completely sober._  
**Word Count:** 333

**\----**

Sunny wished she could say she was drunk when she destroyed the stove, but no, this major fuckup happened when she was stone cold sober.

There she stood in the formerly immaculately kept kitchen, staring at the smoking remains of her adopted mother’s prized Viking range stove, completely horrified. Her older—much, _much_ older—brother stood next to her, the emergency fire extinguisher—or what was left of it—clutched in one bear-sized hand, an utterly flabbergasted expression on his too handsome face.

“Ma is going to kill me.” Her mother _loved_ that stove.

Said stove sparked suddenly and belched out a cloud of noxious-smelling black smoke, startling the human girl and her undead brother from their stupefied horror. Panicked and swearing up and down that she saw flames, Sunny snatched the fire extinguisher from Emmett’s loose grasp and chucked the entire thing into the cloud of smoke, squealing and jumping back to cower behind her brother when the stove hissed and sputtered.

Emmett looked at her over his shoulder in disbelief. “What the _hell_ did you do that for, Sun?”

“I panicked okay!” Sunny shot back defensively as she edged out from behind his broad form, eying the stove warily. Her already heavy Irish brogue thickened as her distress grew and she gestured emphatically at the mangled kitchen appliance. “It was shooting flames and I panicked and for God’s sake I just wanted a bleedin’ grilled cheese! Now Ma is going to kill me for murdering her stove and-and-” Her rant became a wail of despair and she tugged at her short hair.

“Oh God, I’m so _dead!_ ”

Emmett looked between Esme’s prized stove and his hysterical human sibling and guffawed loudly.

“Yup,” He quipped as he—gently—clapped Sunny on the back with a cheerful grin dimpling his cheeks. “You’re dead, sis.”

Sunny wailed and dropped to the floor, covering her face and kicking her feet like an angry five year old throwing a temper tantrum. Emmett just started laughing harder.

 


	2. Drabble #2: Shampoo and Safety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompts on Paper Prompt  
> “She smelled like shampoo and safety.”  
> Word Count: 132

\----

Lili didn’t remember much about her mother; not the sound of her voice, not the color of her eyes, not even her face.

Sunny, of course, remembered more but that was because she had been twelve when their mother died and Lili…well Lili had barely been a year old when it happened. But there was one thing, Lili _did_ remember about her mother. She remembered that she had smelled like shampoo—vanilla-honey and brown sugar—and _safety._

Five years later as she curled up in Sunny’s lap with her head on her sister’s chest and Paul and Seth sandwiching her and Sunny between them on the couch as they all watched _The Incredibles_ , Lili could remember her mother’s scent…because Sunny smelled the same way.

Like vanilla-honey and brown sugar shampoo and safety.


	3. Of course, we found the creepiest park that ever existed and decided it was a great place to explore. I needed to find new friends.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unblocking Writers Block Creative Writing Prompt #389: Write this story  
> Of course, we found the creepiest park that ever existed and decided it was a great place to explore. I needed to find new friends.  
> Word Count: 148

“This is a bad idea.” Angela whispered clutching her flashlight in a death grip.

Next to her, clutching her own torch, Sunny nodded emphatically in agreement. “I second that.”

“Oh c’mon, don’t be such girls.” Paul’s commented was immediately followed by a yelp as Sunny smacked him with her torch. “ _Ow_ , what the hell, Sunny?”

“We are girls, you bloody arse!” She smacked him again with her torch to punctate her point.

Seth and Ben, Angela’s boyfriend, snickered until Sunny turned her scowl on them. Then they shut right up. A breeze made the ancient swing set to their left creak loudly. Angela let out a short yelp and cleaved herself to Sunny’s side, eyes huge behind her glasses.

Of course, the boys had found the creepiest park that ever existed and decided it was a great place to explore. Sunny and Angela needed to find new boyfriends.


	4. If that pumpkin gets stuck on your head I’m not helping you get it off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unblocking Writers Block Creative Writing Prompt #388: Halloween Prompt Set  
> #4: “If that pumpkin gets stuck on your head I’m not helping you get it off.”  
> Word Count: 402

“Sunny, check this pumpkin out!”

Sunny wiped her hands on a dishtowel and wandered out of the kitchen, pausing in the doorway when she saw Seth carrying a pumpkin bigger than a beach ball in his hands. He had the dopiest grin on his face, looking like a proud toddler presenting his mother with the pretty rock he’d just found.

“That...is one big pumpkin. Go set it on the counter, we can carve it later.” She’d sent him, along with the other males, out with Lili and Claire to go pumpkin picking at the “patch” that had been set up halfway between Port Angeles and Forks. She wondered where the rest of the group was.

Her answer came in the form of a Lili and Claire bursting into the house, squealing and laughing about “the great pumpkin king” whatever that was. Lili bounced up to her sister, a Cheshire cat smile on her face, and grabbed her hand.

“Sunny! You _have_ to come outside!” Claire joined Lili in front of Sunny, grabbing her other hand and tugging on her as they both chanted, “Outside, outside, outside.”

Feeling mildly worried, but mostly bemused, Sunny let the two little girls tug her out the front door and on to the porch where she promptly stopped because not only were Emmett, Jasper, Jared, Jacob, Quil and Embry unloading a crap-ton of pumpkins from Emmett’s jeep as well as the bed of Paul’s truck into the yard, but Paul himself had a _goddamn pumpkin on his head_.

“What the actual fuc-” Sunny quickly backtracked when Lili and Claire looked up at her with entirely too gleeful expressions. “Fudge, what the actual _fudge?_ ”

Emmett, looking just a gleeful as the girls, stopped lobbing pumpkins at the other boys to grin at his adopted sister. “You’re boyfriend lost a bet.”

“I…” Sunny opened and closed her mouth several times then shook her head. She wandered over to Paul, who was looking at her through the eyeholes carved into the jack-o-lantern, and poked him in the chest. “If that pumpkin gets stuck on your head I’m not helping you get it off.”

He nodded sullenly and she turned on her heel and went back into the house, completely ignoring the way Jared crowed about how Paul owed him ten bucks and the little girls shrieking with laughter as they danced around. Ay yi yi, she needed a new life.


	5. Unblocking Writers Block Creative Writing Prompt #379: That’s What They Said

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “…and then she screamed, I screamed, we both hit the ground, and the pumpkin exploded. I then realized that letting them in the kitchen was a very bad idea.”  
> Word Count: 280

Sam Uley liked to think he was a patient man; he was the Alpha of over a dozen temperamental shapeshifters, half of which were a bunch of hormonal teenagers, so patience was a virtue he’d had to learn _real_ quick or else he’d go insane.

Sunny Finnegan took that carefully learned patience and blew it up with a grenade.

Right now the tall redhead was standing in front of him, covered in the pumpkin guts that currently decorated his entire kitchen, looking both sheepish and amused. Two little girls, one his niece and the other Sunny’s sister, stood on either side of her also covered in pumpkin guts. They were both trying really hard to look contrite about the situation, but kept giggling periodically, so it was a moot point.

“What happened?” Sam mentally patted his back at how even and calm his tone sounded, completely at odds with the frustration and annoyance he was actually feeling.

“Weeeellll…” Sunny drew the word out, Irish accent particular strong. “You see Lili and Claire wanted to make a pumpkin pie…”

Sam listened with a carefully blank expression as Sunny detailed how she and the girls had set about first gutting the pumpkins Sunny and Emily had bought for just that purpose. That was when things got a little fuzzy and vague.

“…and then they screamed, I screamed, we hit the deck and the pumpkins exploded.” Sunny mimed an explosion with her hands then folded them behind her back, rocking on her heels and smiling sheepishly. “I realize that letting them in the kitchen might have been a bit of a bad idea.”

Sam gave her his hard stare, “Clean it up. _Now_.” 


	6. Unblocking Writers Block Creative Writing Prompt #366: That’s What They Said

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why are you in my kitchen dressed as a hooker?”  
> “I - you know, it’s a long story.”  
> Word Count: 182

Leah stumbled down the stairs and into the kitchen, blinding feeling for the light switch. The old fluorescent bulbs blinked to life when she found it and she paused in disbelief.

“Why…” Leah said slowly, disbelief coloring her tone as she stared at her girlfriend and best friend. “Why are you two in my kitchen dressed as hookers?”

Bobby, leaning against the counter by the stove, and Sunny sitting up on the counter next to her glanced at each other over the bowls of ice cream they were eating. Sunny arched a pointed brow and nodded towards Leah, clearly giving Bobby the floor to explain why they were both in miniskirts, fishnets, stripper boots, what Leah was pretty sure were just their bras, and enough makeup to stock a cosmetic store.

“I-” Bobby faltered and cleared her throat, a blush working its way up her neck. “You know, it’s a long story.”

Not for the first time, Leah wished she could get drunk. And that her imprint and best friend weren’t completely batshit insane. Her life would be so much easier then.


End file.
